Written by Roy Turse
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Thursday, 11 August 2011

image for Kaiser Chiefs: We knew this was going to happen

Kaiser Chiefs front man Ricky Wilson said today that in spite of long-term criticism about the band's predictions, they felt vindicated in the light of current events.

"We've been saying for years that this was going to happen," he told reporters at a press conference earlier today. "We could see the writing on the wall way back in 2004, and we've told people at every concert since. Unfortunately, we have been proven correct."

Ricky said that a few days ago he'd been watching the people get lairy and added "It wasn't very pretty, I tell thee." He went on to say it had got to the point where walking through town was quite scary. Indeed, he advised that it wasn't very sensible either.

Asked if he had any specific advice in the current climate, Ricky said, "Don't argue with a man in a tracksuit about a taxi, and don't look the wrong way at a policeman."

Now that the Kaiser Chiefs ability to foretell future events has been scientifically proven, the question of other predictions has to be asked. Ricky was a little reticent, but suggested that it was possible that although he had never been this far away from home, he might have crisps for tea. When pressed for more information, he told reporters, "I wish I could give you undivided attention every minute of the day but I can't."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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