Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 10 August 2011

image for Celebrities arrested during London Riots
Celebrities storm Bond Street to grab a bargain

Pauline Quirk and David Jason have been arrested during the London riots.

"We were quite surprised to find them in our cells," said Chief of the Metropolitan Police, Felicity Kendal. "And they weren't the only well known names to grace our cells."

According to police paid via the old News of the World Informant Network, Ray Winstone is behind bars after head butting a police constable. Even Alan Sugar has been reported to have been arrested for looting an Apple store.

"We don't understand why one of the richest people in Britain would be trying to loot an iPhone," said Kendal. "But he did."

Danny Dyer was arrested, but later released when it was revealed he'd taken the opportunity to film some footage for his upcoming new TV series, Rioters: Why they do it. This show has footage of at least a dozen well known celebrities openly talking about looting and arson including Linda Robinson and Nicholas Lyndhurst discussing how they would firebomb a police station.

"It's not on," said Kendal. "These people are role models, and should be calling for calm in their communities, not perpetrating it."

The biggest name caught in the dragnet is Prince Harry who was found just off Bond Street looting PC World.

"Harry said it was a stitch up, and he'd just lost his receipt," said Kendal. "However we don't believe him, as it was three hours after the store had closed."

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