Written by IainB
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Topics: Racism, Stupid, Survey, IQ

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

image for White Supremacists have the lowest IQ
Turns out to be irrelevant

In a recent survey carried out by Gallop Holes, it was discovered that aligning yourself to a party such as the BNP is a massive indicator of IQ, much more so than economic or educational background.

"We were amazed," said Lee Ping, Gallop Hole's survey co-ordinator. "We weren't even asking questions about IQ and political affiliation. This was a survey on women's shoe sizes. It just goes to show how comprehensive our questions are, doesn't it?"

After taking out the confusing bi-directional inverse proportional bias of the shoe sizes, Gallop Holes have found that people with lower IQs are more racist.

"When it's written down like that," said Ping, "it seems obvious."

"I'm not thick," said one racist.

"I'm not a racist," said one thicko.

Armed with this knowledge, it is possible that new initiatives could help the intellectually challenged from being white supremacists.

"Previous attempts of stamping out racism have been targeted incorrectly," said Chris Huhne, minister for Climate Change, who has joined the debate as he feels he doesn't get enough news time. "Now we know that it's mainly stupid people who are racist, then we can target the initiatives more accurately. 'Don't be Stupid Don't Be Racist', perhaps? We'll get the media people on it, they're better at this stuff than me."

Andy Wertise, who runs an advertising agency, doesn't think that slogans will work.

"Stupid people are the hardest to manipulate through advertising," said Wertise. "Burger Chains and Matalan seem to have the right ingredients, but it's not stupid people they're aiming at anyway. Stupid people will happily eat their own body weight in lard whilst complaining about immigrants. A word they probably can't even spell. Our best bet is to explain in simple terms all of their beefs."

The first ad that Wertise has drafted aims to explain certain things, with the slogan "They've not taken your job, you're too stupid to do what they do."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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