Written by Ben Macnair
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Topics: Birthdays

Sunday, 24 July 2011

image for Happy Birthday to people celebrating their birthdays
Tesco's in Bracknell, yesterday afternoon

In unrelated news, high street purveyor of books, stationary, stamps, cards, and other life materials WH Smith has wished a Happy Birthday to everyone who has a birthday today. Anyone who has a birthday today (1st April) can go into the shop, with their birth certificate and claim a £50 voucher for the knock down price of £50.

'Yes it is all true' said WH Smith spokesman Ernest Humperdinck 'We are giving away £50 vouchers at the knock down price of £50. It is the least we can do for anyone who is a year closer to death. We believe that it just makes us seem a lot kinder than normal. We are not just purveyors of the news, stamps, folders and Phonecards. We offer a lot more than people think'.

It has been announced that Tesco will be offering something similar, with a free trip to the nearest police station for anyone wearing nothing but their birthday suit.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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