Written by armfeetandtoe
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Saturday, 23 July 2011

image for Isle Of Wight to become new Las Vegas
Ventnor at night

Isle of Wight council members voted in favour of leasing the island and turning it into a millionaires playground. With just one vote against, from Mrs Scongle, of the Nell Gwyn tea rooms, the plans have been drawn up and will be actioned without delay.

Finance Minister, Len Dittome, said the total cost of this adventure will be in the region of thousands if not thousands of pounds.

Asked to put a defining figure on the outlay, he replied; "About two thousand pounds, depending on the price of the new road signs".

Cultural Minister, Sean Itbefore, stated that; "The island is more than ready to match the likes of Las Vegas. We have six amusement arcades on the island each having three one arm bandit machines with a whopping twenty pound jackpot cash payout. Then, there is the marina, can berth at least ten fishing boats, and a small tug. Our hotels are some of the best in the world, despite the rumours of cockroaches and damp beds. Where else can you get a one course meal for one pound fifty, with cruet? Bring it on Las Vegas!

Mayor Harry Knuckle, said; "The people of this island are ready for the challenge. Some people have started painting thier garden gates as I speak, Mr Sweeny, the butcher, is breeding three legged chickens to cope with the Americans apetite for fried southern poultry. Mr and Mrs Spanner have purchased a coffee machine, and the Rotary Club have donated a Waffle toaster. Ace taxis have welded two of thier cars together for the transportation of VIP's. Yes, I think we are in the zone for a major invation from the United States biggest gamblers".

Tourism Manager, Les Bookit, stated; We have sent several copies of our new brochure to all the big companies in the States, we are confident, once they have read our leader, they will come here in droves and we will be waiting for them on the pier".

When The Spoof pointed out that the brochure contained photographs of Las Vegas, with the caption, "Ventnor at night", Mr Bookit replied;
"Have you seen Ventnor at night? From a light aircraft?" And ran off.

Editor in Chief, of Isle Of Wight News, Mr Reader, claimed; "We are going to get a lot of letters to the editor over this stupidity".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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