Written by Captain Dopey
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Topics: Politics, british

Saturday, 26 November 2005

image for Stars Pay Tribute To Maggie
Kajagoogoo's keyboard wizard Limahl

Recording artists from the period during which Mrs. Thatcher dominated British politics have gathered to record a special album in her honour. The compilation goes under the inspired title of ‘Margaret: A CD', and is the brainchild of pop genius and lifelong Thatcher supporter Jonathon King. Featuring other mega-celebrities from the era such as Phil Collins, Duran Duran and Jimmy Tarbuck, the album includes some new songs specially written for the former PM and a reworking of old standards.
Most of the compositions being British, a surprise inclusion is former National Coal Board Chairman and American Sir Ian McGregor's rendition of Loretta Lynn's ‘Coal Miner's Daughter'. Sir Ian - who was unexpectedly given a knighthood following the miner's strike - in fact recorded this refrain in a cocktail bar in Kensington immediately following the miners' return to work. He told us: "Gee whiz, I sure didn't expect this kinda cornball reminiscence stuff from you Limeys. I was just fulfilling my contractual obligation to Lady Deity, as we used to call her. I thought a song might cheer her up".
‘Conceptual Manager' Jonathan King, the project's ‘Prime Mover‘, explained the rationale behind it: "I'm simply returning a favour. In the mid-Eighties I got a phone call from someone at the Department For Employment, asking if they could use my song 'Everyone's Gone To The Moon' in a recruitment drive. So I put my money where my mouth is, which is to the South-West of my nose, contacted my good friend Dame Shirley Porter and ‘Hey Tesco'; here we are".
The album - specially pressed on blue acetate and imprinted with a ‘Rule Brittania' holograph - also heralds a return to the public eye of rock legend Limahal from Kajagoogoo. Fresh from his work with Carlos Santana, Limahl recognizes the debt owed by many in the music world to Mrs. Thatcher: "She created a climate in which we artists could be freed from the restraints imposed on us by the taxman. Before her, recording studios were always full of workmen such as producers and sound engineers. They were always trying to tell us what to do. Doing away with their interference meant I could just plug my guitar into the mains and wait for the creative sparks".
One of the artistic highlights of the album is an orchestral version of Joe Dolci's ‘Shaddup A Ya Face' Mr. Dolci, now a car-park attendant in Barnsley following financial setbacks relating to the failure of his ‘drug company‘, said from his room in the clinic: "Maggie brought me success beyond my wildest dreams. I'd never had met so many beings from other worlds if it hadn't been for her".
The CD goes on sale tomorrow at the special introductory price of seven Euros.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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