Written by Dr Jon
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Sunday, 26 June 2011

image for Sheffield pensioner hounded off YouTube by  America
At least I understand what irony actually is, colonial.

Doting grandmother Nelly Bother, 76, was distraught today after her first tentative steps into the information age were completely ruined by the collective efforts of a bunch of Yanks.

Nelly, of Shiregreen, with the help of her Help the Aged support worker, proudly uploaded footage of her beloved grandson, Niall, kicking a football around her garden purely to show her friends.

Alas, she was horrified to find that within 20 minutes the comments page under her clip was full of abuse, racism and repetitive, deeply unfunny 'memes'.

"It was horrible," Nelly told me, clutching a cup of tea, "I was hoping Nancy would see the clip as she's currently in respite care in a home at Broomhill. But all I got was 'PWNED', "FAIL' and 'ALL YOUR BASES ARE BELONG TO US'. Even I can spot that the last one is a particularly shit catchphrase."

Niall happens to be of mixed race, and this inevitably resulted in the posting of an offensive, semi-literate and racist diatribe from some idiot in Georgia.

The last straw came when YouTube contacted Nelly to tell her that her clip had been taken down because Major League Soccer claimed the rights to Niall's shoes, the ball he was kicking and his haircut.

"Fuck it," remarked Nelly, "I'm going to Happy Snaps to buy a sodding photo album."

A spokesman for American teenagers said "Dude, that's sick. Like, no way. Mom, can I have my allowance?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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