Written by IainB
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Monday, 20 June 2011

image for Painter and decorator committed
Riggs as he was dragged into the Loony Bin

Jerry Riggs, a painter and decorator from Hemel Hempstead has been sectioned under the mental health act after going on a rampage through a customer's house smashing furniture and destroying electronic goods.

"I came home and was stunned," said he customer Philip Sock of Wellington Crescent. "The house was trashed. My mother-in-law's tongue plant was embedded in the television, the toaster was half through the kitchen window and there was magnolia paint splashed all over the carpets. Riggs was in the corner hugging his knees, rocking and sobbing."

Paramedics were called and Riggs was taken to Hemel Hempstead Institute for the Insane.

"Jerry has been under heavy sedation," said psychoanalyst, Andy Nietzsche. "When he was brought in he was screaming uncontrollably. We're not sure how long it will be before he can be released back into the community. It maybe even longer before he can return to his painting and decorating business."

Jerry Riggs appears to have a psychotic break, according to Nietzsche, brought on by an extended period of stress.

Brenda Riggs, Jerry's long suffering wife of twelve months, has been the only person allowed in to see her husband.

"From what I can gather," she said. "Philip Sock had asked him to paint the living room, dining room and hall magnolia, and the rooms were already painted magnolia. He went mad trying to work out the bits he'd already painted. To make matters worse, the customer wanted the woodwork painting matt white, and they too were already matt white."

Doctors believe that what pushed the painter over the edge was being asked to hang wallpaper in the conservatory though.
"It appears that the walls weren't straight," said Nietzsche. "That annoys me too."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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