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Wednesday, 15 June 2011

image for Old People To Be Moved To Prison Ships
First Class Luxury - Staterooms On Board A Prison Ship.

As concerns grow for elderly residents of care homes, new proposals have been advanced suggesting that placing the elderly on board strategically positioned prison ships will ease the burden on the taxpayer.

The idea appears to be gaining support from Conservative MPs, most of whom will be unaffected should the proposals become a reality.

Initial estimates suggest that running costs can be shaved by as much as 76%, as having lots of elderly people in one location will be more economical to administer, and that staff numbers could be drastically reduced by housing the elderly in prison cells, where they can be locked in and easily monitored.

Opposition to the proposal appears to be gathering momentum, but supporters insist that it's all a move for the better. Some entrepreneurs appear to be looking on it as a business opportunity for caterers, and for ferry operators who will probably be charging exorbitant fees to ferry relatives and visitors from shore to prison ship.

"Don't think of this in terms of prison ships," Conservative MP Gerhardt Schroeder announced. "Think of it as the ultimate gated community. Security won't be a problem. And if we moor one off the coast by Blackpool, residents with portholes will get a lovely view of the illuminations. I'm sure the elderly will be quite happy on board the prison ships. They'll even be able to do a bit of deep sea angling off the decks. Trust me. It'll be cushty."

It is thought that fees for cells on the prison ships will start at £76 per day.

More as we get it.

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