Written by j.w.
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Topics: Andrew Lansley

Thursday, 2 June 2011

image for Lansley Sent to Care Home
Staff at the Care Home rest after a rigourous session

Health Minister Andrew Lansley has been sent to a Care Home to consider the risk of his not being able to privatise the Health Service.

Staff trained in the gentle art of persuasion will be attempting to get Lansley's Bill into shape.

We have been able to secretly film within the Care Home and have felt ill watching the tapes. They reveal the constant bullying of Lansley by someone appearing to be Staff Nurse Cameron with Deputy Matron Nicola Clegg landing a few blows - some below the belt!

Lansley's parents on seeing the distressing scenes resolved to remove their son from the Care Home at the first opportunity but are afraid of the consequences for their son if they speak out publicly.

A statement, passed by Downing Street, from the parents declared: 'Andrew is finding that facing the facts is very painful but the nursing staff at the Care Home are doing all they can to help him.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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