Written by lotta cash
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Topics: Flying, volcano

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

image for Come Fly With Me, Lets Fly, Let's Fly Away!
If you can use some exotic booze theres a bar in far bombay come on an fly with me come fly, let's fly away

Despite warnings from the Civil Aviation Authority and the Met Office, Ryanair boss O'Leary flew an air craft right through the volcanic ash cloud and into the volcano itself, just before lunchtime today.

Before taking to the air he held a press conference. "I'm not putting up with this toxic out pouring. I'm going to fly out to it today and put a stop to all its hot air once and for all. Has this volcano no appreciation of how a business runs the cost of fuel and airport tax? How much we're losing if we have to dump unsold in-flight daily newspapers and out of date muffins."

In the past Mr O'Leary has not being known as a pioneer of industrial relations. However on this occasion he has really pulled it out of the bag.

On the flight he has 64 of his staff. These individuals have agreed to become human sacrifices for the god's of the volcano. They will throw themselves out of the plane mid air as he approaches the offending site.

Indeed he says if this is successful it may become standard practice for all Ryanair passengers as a way of disembarking thereby avoiding air port taxes and shortening the turn around time of flights. This also fits in nicely with the planned restructuring of staff levels that was to take place later this year.

When asked how the selection took place, he snarled and said, "Most of the staff where asking for it".

The families of the staff in question will be compensated with a voucher for a one way flight of their choice within Europe with one bag. This Voucher must be used within one week of issue.

Mr O'Leary criticized Aer Lingus, BA, Virgin, Brit Midland, and all other airlines of the world for their unimaginative approached to the crises. "Their nothing but a crowd of ***?!!!***???" he observed as he kindly offered them oneway seats on the said plane heading for Iceland

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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