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Wednesday, 11 May 2011

image for Britain's "Great" Heritage Under Threat From European Interference
If we tolerate this then what next? The Half Crown to go too?

We will fight them on the beaches before long, if as is being reported today, bonkers Brussels bureaucrats soon pass a new law that's on their mad agenda which will force Great Britain to drop its Great prefix by 2015.

It seems that, as some would have it, our contentious smug-sounding handle is just too much for Johnny Foreigner to bear, and the move to strip us of our 'up ourselves' title is gathering pace on the continent.

Commenting from his swanky office in Paris, European Minister for Country Nomenclature, Jaques Anjill, said: "What is wrong with you Breetish? I zink ze Grait is sounding very stupeed and is a throwback to ze olden times. Look at what has happened to ze Marathon shock-o-la bar. Eet is now called Snickers. So why not simply call Grait Britain...Britain? Pfft!"

But Prime Minister, David Cameron, speaking today at a conference to further International Diplomacy unleashed the following barrage at his European partners.

"If Mr or, Monsieur, Anjill and his garlic-smelling, sausage-munching surrender-monkey chums think that they will ever get our nation to drop its 'Great' then they can think again. Look here, who won the war anyway? We call ourselves Great Britain simply because that's exactly what we are...Britain. They're only annoyed because their backward little nations aren't called things like Fantastic France, Bloody Brilliant Belgium and Splendid Spain."

Former Desert Rat and OAP, Bert Bapps, has entered the debate. Speaking from his retirement home in West Sussex he said:

"Eighty three and still got all me own teeth. Amazing ain't it son? And we get Spotted-Dick every Tuesday. Lovely!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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