Written by grimbo
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Monday, 9 May 2011

image for Clegg Fights Back With NHS Pledge

Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg has promised to come out fighting after his party's disastrous showing in the local and national elections last week.

Clegg has vowed to fight the Conservatives' proposed plans to revamp the National Health Service and has come up with pledge to improve the latter.

"Whatever changes our coalition partners are intending to implement, I can promise that the least the country can expect of the NHS is that all hospital surfaces will be given a thoroughly good polish.

Anytime I have gone into NHS hospitals over the last few months, the first thing I have noticed is the dowdiness of many of the surfaces.

They have appeared sticky and dusty, if not downright dirty and that is simply not acceptable.

I have personally ordered 5,000 tins of Pledge for immediate dispatch to the larger English hospitals.

Even if waiting times aren't improving and operations are being cancelled due to insufficient staffing levels, at least patients won't feel that they need to wash their hands every time they touch a table or chair".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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