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Friday, 29 April 2011

image for 'Anonymous' £113m EuroMillions jackpot winner 'rumored to be Kate's father Michael Middleton'
A £113m secret waiting to be unravelled?

London - Secrecy shrouds the identity of last October's staggering EuroMillions jackpot ticket-holder who plumped for anonimity when trousering the dosh.

But the rumor was all the rage inside Buckingham Palace's gilded walls this afternoon as guests quaffed vintage Dom Perignon and sated their hunger on truffles, pate de fois gras and lashings of Beluga caviar.

"Of course, at the time we all thought the winner must be a Tory MP," one of the royal wedding breakfast guests chuckled, "but after today we're not so sure..."

"Well, it would explain an awful lot if it was her Pa," his companion commented as the Middletons - Mr and Mrs - knocked back jeroboam after jeroboam of the £500-a-pop fizz.

By the time the newlyweds had sealed their union with a balcony kiss virtually all the 600-strong guest list was abuzz with frenzied speculation about the Middleton family's extraordinary rise from relative obscurity.

"Well, if he IS the jackpot winner then he must have bunged Cameron a few bob to seal today's deal, heheh," Lady Morticia Mortlock commented, "maybe even old Cleggie too...."

A spokesperson for Camelot said today the identity of the £113m winner remains confidential 'until a hyper-super-dooper gagging injunction is revoked'.

The Sultan of Brunei is daft as a brush.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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