Written by IainB
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Topics: Donald Trump

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

image for Donald Trump to build a golf course and village in Somerset
A Trumpton golf-cart

Donald Trump, American, billionaire tycoon and golf lover is set to rejuvenate a run down area of Somerset by building a state of the art golf course and village on the site of an old, derelict tin mine.

The new golfing village will have it's own fire service, bakery and Mayor. Work is already under way, with the golf course built, and the town hall, complete with clock, mostly finished.

"Unemployment in this area is bad," said former tin-miner Stan Numb. "It's good to see that somebody has an interest in getting the site up and running again, even if he's an American with a rude sounding name."

Donald Trump, for his part, is looking to recruit locals to man the various public posts in the town. According to leaked documents, seventy-seven year old Brian Cant has been approached to be the new mayor of the town, whilst the Pugh brothers, David and Dennis, have been asked to form the new fire department.

"We're going to ask our friends," said Dennis Pugh. "Barney McGrew and Jeremy Cuthbert are both up for it for sure, and I'm hoping Charlie Dibble will join us too. He's already an officer in the Bristol fire service. We've got a guy coming up from London called Flack to lead the fire service here, he's meant to be good. He'll be bringing his number two, Kevin Grubb."

Local carpenter, Keith Minton and his son-in-law, Carl Nibbs have already set up a workshop on the edge of the village, and Donald Trump himself has said that local firms, such as Miss Lovelace's Hats of Distinction can operate from the village at minimal rent. In return for making the town hall clock, Alex Platt will also be given a workshop, rent free.

"I'm quite looking forward to taking up residence," said Mrs Jennifer Cobbit, a local florist whose Dandelion Plantation is world renowned.

The only downside that local residents can foresee is that Donald Trump wishes to name the village after himself.

"I hope we can persuade him to change his mind," said Mrs Cobbit. "It's such a silly name, isn't it? I mean, Trumpton, whoever heard of such a thing."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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