Written by Penny Dreadful
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Topics: uniform, Blues

Saturday, 8 October 2005

image for George Bush:  "We're on a mission from God."
"They'll never catch us. . . "

Today (actually yesterday to be more precise), serious academics gathered (all neatly dressed in the usual clichéd 'tank-top and nerdy glasses' uniform) to pose the distressing and disturbing question; 'Could George Bush be the 3rd Blues Brother?"

This frightening suggestion, that is sure to rock the cult-film world to it's very pedantic and tedious core, was devised by leading ‘Asker of Ridiculous Questions', Professor R. J. Kettleburn of Barnsley University.
In a proclamation issued this morning, he had this to say,

"upon hearing the statement reported to have been spoken by President George Bush in 2003 to the Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas which can basically be summarized in the phrase ‘I'm on a mission from God', my colleagues and I immediately recognized the quote and logged onto our ‘Nerd.com/BluesBrothers' forum which was already buzzing with messages regarding this extraordinary event. We had long suspected that George Bush was on something and this confirmation only added fuel to our flimsy and hypothetically-constructed fire.

Here are the other connecting facts as we see them -

1) Georgie like to blow his own trumpet (useful for all that soul music)

2) Georgie says funny things ("You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'')

3) Erm, that's it, but I'm sure you can make up your own."

At this point Professor Kettleburn left the stage muttering something about ‘damned Magneto, in my brain again' leaving this intrepid reporter bewildered and still 100 words short of a full article.

So, as Georgie's ego continues to inflate exponentially with each passing day, this reporter is left to speculate; where will He go next? Surely this man has already plunged the very depths of stupidity whilst simultaneously raising common ignorance to new heights (this is no mean feat I can tell you).

Perhaps the next statement, instead of saying ‘I am God's messenger on Earth' will simply be ‘I am God on Earth' (although lets face it, knowing Georgie it will probably come out as ‘I am Dog on Earth' in which case we will all say ‘yes Georgie dear', give him a doggie-treat and a pat on the head.)

We can only wait with baited breath. . .

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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