Written by Ellis Ian Fields
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 21 April 2011

image for Wolverhampton Brought To Standstill By Sheep

Police were desperately trying to get Wolverhampton city centre moving again ths afternoon after it was gridlocked by herds of sheep.

The bleating woolly-backs blocked all the main routes into and out of the centre and proved extremely difficult to round up.

According to unconfirmed reports, the sheep belong to celebrated former cricketer and England captain, Baroness Rachel Heyhoe Flint, who was granted the freedom of Wolverhampton yesterday.

The honour gives her the right to drive sheep through the city.

Said Chief Insp Colin Ungulate of the West Midlands Road Traffic Division: "We had no idea the Baroness would take her freedoms so literally - we also didn't know she owned so many sheep!

"It's absolute chaos out there.

Unfortunately, we're mainly an urban force with few farming skills so herding sheep doesn't come easily to us. We can't use the dog division - those German Shepherds would have a field day with all that potential mutton!

"And some of those ewes that have new lambs with them can get quite aggressive. A few of our lads and lasses have had some nasty butts.

"We are warning motorists to stay away from Wolverhampton centre for the next 24 hours."

Make Ellis Ian Fields's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 5?

6 1 5 8

Go to top ^