Written by IainB
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Topics: Pregnancy, Hotel, chair

Sunday, 17 April 2011

image for The pregnancy chair
This is not the actual chair, we couldn't afford a photo of that

A chair in a hotel in Luton has been dubbed the "Pregnancy Chair" has been moved into the honeymoon suite.

"It's a really special chair," said Russ Epshon, manager of Roman's Hotel in Luton. "For the past five years it's sat in the office. We've had nine women work for us over that period who sat in that chair. All of them became pregnant within six weeks of starting to sit in the chair. Even Caroline, and she's transgendered!"

"I'm avoiding it!" laughed night manager, June Tidesk, 59. "I'm in my late fifties, I don't date have another baby now. Not since I became a lesbian anyway, my partner might have something to say about it! Not to mention my age."

Epshon had a brilliant idea, one that has put his hotel on the map.

He moved the chair into the hotel's largest room, and renamed it the 'honeymoon' suite.

"I'm quite pleased with it," said Epshon. "We've never had so many bookings. We've got a waiting list for that one room. We've redecorated it to make it conducive to baby making."

The current occupants of the honeymoon suite, a Mr and Mrs Smith, nudge nudge, wink wank, were unavailable for comment. However there is news that the room's first occupants have become pregnant.

"We're quite pleased for Billy and Katy," said Epshon. "The room has fulfilled its potential."

And what of the nine women who worked at the hotel and fell pregnant because of the chair? Only one dared talk.

"The chair? Don't make me laugh," said Tanya Hide. "It's that ozzie bloke in the bar, Trev. He's a hunk he is, and what he can do with...well, lets just say it's him they should put in the honeymoon suite."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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