The Government has taken a decisive step in combating the increasing population caused by people living too long.
It is not the Government's fault if old people freeze to death next winter due to a cut in the heating allowance. It is clearly the fault of the weather and is Nature's way of dealing with a problem.
'People are simply living too long and cluttering up the place' said Nick Clegg as David Cameron nodded his head. 'We have to deal with this matter left to us by the last Government that insisted on having a national health service' chimed Cameron as his companion Clegg smiled in agreement.
The clarion calls announcing the new policy have been well received by Undertakers. One, who preferred to remain anonymous, welcomed the Government's move. 'This industry can now expand and create more jobs. There is also the benefit this will bring to flower sellers and the effect slow moving traffic at funerals will have in the campaign to cut down on road deaths. With old fogies being cremated they also will get all the warmth they need. They really shouldn't grumble.'
The rest of the population will have the opportunity of enjoying themselves without having to worry about elderly parents and grandparents mistreating their grandchildren.
The younger generations should not be envious. They will get their chance to serve the national interest by freezing to death in the future.