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Saturday, 19 March 2011

image for King of Bahrain turns down 'naff' royal nuptials invite
King Hamad's having none of it

London - His Westminster Abbey North Transept seat between Brunei's Prince Jefri Archer and a heavily pregnant Victoria Beckham will now be auctioned off for charity.

"Or may be allocated to some other pesky despot," the Palace's Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon said tonight, "such as Simon Cowell or Ann Widdecombe."

News of the invite's refusal initially sent tremors among Middle Eastern invitees - such as Uri Geller and Saif Al Gaddafi - who reckon the tickets for April 29th's wedding are a status symbol for the Great and the Good.

Instead Bahrain's King Hamad bin Issa al-Khalifa has sent Kate and William some good advice and a box of bespoke Manama Gobstoppers - delicious Gulf sweetmeats traditionally given to wedding couples by their indulgent in-laws.

Hamad joins a growing exodus from next month's shindig that includes President and Mrs Obama, The Pope, Joseph Fritzl and Hosni Mubarak.

The Duchess of Cornwall remains in traction at the Royal Freak Hospital 'until at least April 1st'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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