Written by Nick Hobbs
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Friday, 11 March 2011

image for Guilty: Sussex Man Busted By Wife
The Brabham's, no arse in sight.

A Sussex man was found guilty of looking at a young ladies bottom yesterday, in the middle of a high street.

Ted Brabham, 47, was walking around Horsham with his wife Enid, doing a spot of shopping, when he was caught looking at the posterior of a rather attractive young sales assistant in Next, on West street.

His wife had turned unexpectedly to ask his advice on what top suited her figure best, advice which she would later ignore, when she caught him staring intently to the left.

Following his eyeline, Mrs Brabham was horrified to find a pert, rounded twenty year old bottom, belonging to a girl named Rachel.

Slapping him hard on the arm, Mrs Brabham proceeded in giving her husband a complete dressing down, in front of customers and staff alike.

Mr Brabham's continued attempts to 'shoosh' his wife only resulted in escalating her anger.

He told his wife he was merely looking at belts on a rack further over in the store, as he needed one for work. However, underestimating his wife's anger and cunning, he was caught out when she asked to see which belt he wanted, only to find that the men's section was in fact upstairs.

The unfortunate young lady was blissfully unaware of the attention being given to her rear end, until Mrs Brabham marched her husband up to her to offer a formal apology.

Mr Brabham was said to go 'crimson', witnesses say, and blurted out a lengthy, mumbled apology.

The young lady just said 'OK' and carried on putting things on hangers, looking somewhat confused.

The Brabham's left the store shortly afterwards, with Mrs Brabham still less than happy. Her husband was heard to repeat 'yes, dear' and 'sorry, dear' at least fifty times, before going out of earshot.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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