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Tuesday, 8 March 2011

image for Isle of Wight News: Business As Usual At Snoods Galore! Despite International Snood Ban
Emily Pratcaller and Vicky Lamprey will once again don a range of snoods as they work on their 1955 Ferguson TEF tractor

Ryde niche boutique Snoods Galore! has gone from strength to strength since opening last Summer, writes Fashion, War, Dominoes, Pargeting, Philately, Music, Medicine, Agriculture and Medieval Torture Correspondent, Len D'Meaneer.

Island entrepreneur Sally Kettle - originally from Yorkshire's Kettlewell - has done well with her venture. It is testament to her persistence and courage that Snoods Galore! is thriving, for Sally's first Wight business venture, Brading youth fashion shop In The Hood, was forced to close after only 4 months in 2009.

Turning away from the youth sector after some intensive analysis of the Island's fashion market demographic, Sally Kettle opened Snoods Galore! in an attempt to woo the many Island residents who remember the days of World War II and its fashions.

And from this initial tiny snood acorn, quite a snood oak has burgeoned and spread its great snood branches. Snoods Galore! - occupying the historic Union Street premises formerly housing Ryde's condemned cell and pig-slaughtering yard - is the place to go to for those in search of the ultimate snood.

And Sally Kettle is keen to stress that the well-stocked shelves of Snoods Galore! will continue to groan beneath a bewildering variety of snoods that will satisfy even the most-discerning snood connoisseurs - international snood ban or no international snood ban.

"We aim to offer customers an 'Offshore Snood Heaven' or 'Haven For Snoods'", Sally told me yesterday. "I really want to reassure our customers - many of whom travel far and wide in search of an authentic and distinctive snood - that we are still very much open for business, whatever the International Football Authorities might have decreed."

Football's lawmaking authority, the International Football Association Board, has ruled that the neck-warming snoods increasingly worn by top players, are dangerous. FIFA President Sepp Blatter has said of the neck-warming snood: "It can be like to hang somebody."

Sally told me how some of her customers have been disturbed by these developments.

"Poor Mrs Spender, from Brighstone, visited us the other day in tears, ready to hand back the lovely beaded snood her daughter Penny had bought her for her 86th birthday.

"She was afraid the snood might strangle her while she was asleep.

"And the Baggidge sisters from Bembridge returned a batch of standard pattern snoods by parcel post, with a note that said: 'we regret to return our beloved snoods but would fain expose ourselves to unwonted risk. At our ages having lived through Hitler's bombs we are loth to fall foul of a snood'."

It is to offest this kind of distress that Sally Kettle is to hold a special Snood Celebration Event at Snoods Galore! on April 12th.

"We want to recreate the positive feelings we all enjoyed on our 'opening day open day' last July", Sally said. "We will have exhibitions and snoods to try, and will attempt to create a real World War II street party atmosphere.

"I am hoping to persuade old Mrs Fassbender-Wakenshaw from Bending Downe to give a talk about the tall German boy who changed her life in a hay-rick near Upper Appleford, and Emily Pratcaller and Vicky Lamprey will once again don a range of snoods as they work on their 1955 Ferguson TEF tractor restoration.

"Alderson Air Products of Calbourne will once more supply a marquee, and ice cream will be sold by Vince Nuppler's Gatcombe Ices.

"I am particularly excited by the prospect of a visit from Mrs Quandary of Saskatchewan, the 'Empress of the Beaded Snood World'. She is our most prestigious supplier and has agreed to come and do a 'masterclass' in the marquee.

"I have written to Mr Blatter, asking him if he would like to issue a disclaimer about our snood stocks. I have yet to be honoured with a reply, but I know he will be busy.

"However, just as people like old Mrs Fassbender-Wakenshaw did in the War Years, we are very much soldiering on at Snoods Galore!"

As ever, we wish Sally Kettle - originally from Kettlewell - well at Snoods Galore!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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