Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 24 February 2011

image for Jemima Khan Denies She Was Excluded From The Royal Wedding Because She Remarked That Kate Middleton Recently Wore Socks That Did Not Match
Jemima Khan shown on a recent visit to ex-boyfriend Hugh Grant's 'London Fog Estates' in Thames Haven.

LONDON - British socialite, human rights activist, and journalist Jemima Khan has denied that the reason she was not invited to Prince William and Kate Middleton's wedding on April 29, is because she recently told a reporter for Tickety Boo News that she had seen Kate shopping at a Tesco Supermarket and she was wearing socks that did not match.

Khan giggled as she told TBN's Neville Twickenbuck that she saw Kate in the crumpet section of Tesco and she could not believe it when she looked down at her feet and noticed that she was wearing a pair of Nike's but with socks that did not match.

Jemima, the ex-girlfriend of actor Hugh Grant, stated that Kate's left sock was lime green and her right sock was royal blue; not even close to being the same color.

Khan, who bears a bit of a resemblance to American actress Julia Roberts, remarked that several other shoppers had also noticed the discrepancy in socks.

The next morning Tickety Boo News printed the socks story under the heading, Kate Middleton Seen Shopping at Tesco - Oblivious To Her Mismatched Socks.

An unnamed employee of Kate's disclosed that when Middleton read the article in TBN she became highly irate. She angrily flung the plate of fish and chips she was eating, yelled out at the family cat Lady Whiskers The IV, and proceeded to call up Mr. Twickenbuck at Tickety Boo News and tell him that Mrs. Khan was lying through her ever-so-perfect teeth.

Twickenbuck was reportedly out covering a developing story about a bag containing £100,000 [$162,000 U.S.] that had been discovered in the moat below the Windsor Castle drawbridge and he could not be reached as apparently his cell phone battery had gone dead.

Khan spoke to Twickenbuck's secretary, identified as Millicent Ann Brockhampton, 20, and informed her that she was holding in her hand a copy of the wedding invitation which she was going to scan and email to her boss in care of Tickety Boo News.

TBN reported that Jemima Khan, who was named after the pancakes, was a very close confidante of the late Princess Diana. Khan has also been linked as being a confidante to other high level notables including Simon Cowell, Cat Deely, Olly Murs, Pixie Lott, and Chicharito.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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