Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 23 February 2011

image for Buckingham Palace Mails Out 1,900 Wedding Invitations - Sarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York Does Not Get One
Sarah Ferguson told The Bee's Knees News Agency that she has not set foot in Buckingham Palace since 1992.

LONDON - Some of the world's richest, most popular, and most influential people will be in attendance on April 29 at the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

David and Victoria (The Beckhams) will be in attendance. David and Samantha (Cameron) will also be there as will David and Elton (The Johns).

And one of the greatest and oldest rock and roll bands, the Rolling Stones will be playing at the wedding reception.

But one individual who will not be there is the ex-wife of Prince Andrew and ex-daughter-in-law of Queen Elizabeth II, Sarah Ferguson, aka The Duchess of York, or as some have referred to her The Duchess of Pork.

In 1992, Sarah Ferguson was photographed topless lounging in a villa in Saint Tropez, France while having the little toe of her left foot surreptitiously sucked by financial mogul adviser John "The Mouth" Bryan.

After the photographs of the incident went world-wide Mrs. Prince Andrew tried to excuse it all by saying that she had stepped on a piece of wood and that John was not actually kissing her little toe but instead was merely trying to remove the wood splinter from her little toe

Ferguson explained that the reason that she was topless was due to the fact that a sudden gust of wind had suddenly appeared off the Mediterranean and it had managed to completely blow off her bikini top.

As soon as Queen Elizabeth II saw the photos the next morning, she had Sarah banned from Buckingham Palace, Balmoral Castle in Scotland, and The Prince of Wales Theatre.

Ferguson remarked to Emma McPiddlehinton, a reporter with The Bee's Knees News Agency that the queen was really making a mountain out of a mole hill.

She stated that the queen had not said nary a word in 1989, when her son Prince Charles had made the vulgaristic remark about wanting to be Camilla's tampon.

Sarah said that when that remark was made every single publication tried to squash it but it did appear in print in Ta Ta For Now News.

When Ferguson was asked where she plans on being on the day of the big wedding she smiled and replied that she will be attending The 39th Annual Pantyhose and Sock Festival up in Manchester.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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