Written by Jack Melling
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 21 February 2011

In a last ditch attempt to salvage the economy, Chancellor George Osborne is set to take Viagra to try and stimulate growth.

This announcement comes after it was revealed by Osborne that he "doesn't know what else to do."

At the beginning of 2010, it seemed as though the economy was achieving steady but not full growth, in what was labelled as Steady Economical Monetary Increase, or a SEMI for short.

However, since the Coalition government came into power in May, George Osborne has been trying various quick fix schemes that he thought would sort out growth, but has instead left it lifeless and limp, in what has been labelled by commentators as Failing Linear Anecdotal Coalition Currency Increase Disaster or FLACCID for short.

This has frustrated Osborne who can't put explain why he still fails to achieve or maintain full growth. However, the Chancellor believes taking Viagra will sort out this growth problem.

Speaking at a press conference, he said, "I've heard that Viagra can sort out growth problems, so thought this would be the ideal solution to deal with the stumbling economy we inherited from the previous Labour government."

"Under the new Viagra economic legislation, I will take four Viagra pills a day, which will hopefully kick-start the economy. In fact I've taken some pills this morning, already starting the drive for growth."

George Osborne was then asked to stand for a photograph, but responded sheepishly to this question saying he needed to sit down for the next half an hour to "compose his thoughts."

Make Jack Melling's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 1?

8 3 20 11

Go to top ^