Written by j.w.
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Topics: Animals, Rubbish

Monday, 21 February 2011

image for Strange Animal Found in Dustbin
Strange Loony Bin

Glasgow has seen the appearance of strange animal, found in a dustbin in the Suckashell district. It is a cross between a lizard and a mouse and is thought to one of the famous missing links.

Mrs Maureen McTavish, known for her disappearing cat, found the animal and immediately rang the Fire Brigade. On arrival the Fireman advised Mrs McTavish to ring 999 and a Doctor came to see her. He was concerned about her mental health and decided to confine Maureen to a special hospital. 'You've got a loony bin, my dear' he sympathised but then a weird sound emerged from Maureen's dustbin.

It was a combination of a pitiable squeak with the sound of a frog singing. The Doctor advised Mrs M to ring the police and, after arresting Maureen for wasting Police time, the cry came from the dustbin again.

'By Scott' said Inspector Robert Burns 'what have you got here, Mrs McTavish?'

'It's clearly a missing link between the Plasticine Age and the Mezzosoprano one' she declared 'I would have thought that was pretty obvious'.

'We'd better kill it, then' said Burns and with a Bang the animal was decapitated.

Such are the strange incidents that take place in the streets of our towns and never become major news stories.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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