Written by Phantom Guitarist
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Topics: Tony Blair, Britain

Thursday, 25 September 2003

image for Blair Admits Lying To Britain
Blair: "Misguided"

In a bizarre turn of events, Prime Minister Tony Blair admitted lying to the people of Great Britain. In an unusually open and frank interview with Sir David Frost which is due to be aired this Sunday, Tony Blair explained the level of his deception.

"I cannot lie to the people of Great Britain any longer. I, your Prime Minister, have lied. The war in Iraq was unnecessary. There are no weapons of mass destruction. We did not win the last general election either. The Monster Raving Loony Party had won, but the decision was made that the country would be run more effectively under a Labour Government. In hindsight, this decision was at best misguided."

Sir David Frost was uncharacteristically speechless, and the PM continued:

"New Labour have introduced a new 'Honesty Is Best' Policy. All MP's and Councillors have to be open and honest from this day forth. As we are a top led political party I am leading this Policy forward. I understand that as more Labour politicians tell the truth then votes for my party will diminish. But the undeniable fact is that I can no longer continue living this lie. I am Margaret Thatcher. The other Thatcher you see frequenting the House Of Lords is actually a robot, as are all the other Lords. New Labour is actually a front for the Conservative Party. I urge you all to now vote for the Real Labour Party, the Liberal Democrats."

Charles Kennedy was not available for comment, as he was busy laughing his head off at the Lib Dem Conference, but our reporters made up the following quote:

"I am glad Mr Blair has finally told the truth. Now maybe David Blunkett will admit that he can see perfectly fine and that his dog is actually a bear in disguise!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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