Written by Reddon
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Topics: Old People, Bees, Shock

Saturday, 12 February 2011

image for Elderly lady swells up!
"Come quick! Our mam's swellin' up!"

What began as relatively normal day came within a whisker of turning into a tragedy for the Beekman family of Worcester yesterday.

Bert Beekman and his wife Elsie were looking forward to a visit from their three children, their partners, and their four grandchildren on Saturday afternoon. All arrived safely, and Elsie took her brood into the back garden to show off Bert's latest DIY creation - a new water feature.

It wasn't until they had all retreated indoors that it quickly became evident that something had gone terribly wrong.

"I looked at our mam," daughter Margaret explained. "And I could see that our mam was swellin' up! Her was as red as a beetroot and swellin' up so fast yer could see it. Her eyes were swollen nearly shut, her face was all puffy, and her fingers was turning into big swelly sausages. We started to panic, me brothers and me, but our dad sorted it all out by calling for an ambulance."

Elsie Beekman was rushed to Worcester Royal Infirmary and given emergency treatment for anaphylactic shock after suffering from a bee sting.

"Must've got her in the garden," Bert, who started smoking again following the traumatic incident, told the press. "I knew right away that summit was wrong. I could tell by the way her was swellin' up. Like a bloody great balloon her was. Her's all right now, though. Back on the gin and scoffin' trifle for all her's worth. It were a close shave though."

Elsie was discharged from the infirmary later that evening as the swelling began to subside, and as Bert said, has now made a full recovery.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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