Written by Anan E Maus
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Wednesday, 9 February 2011

LIVERPOOL, U.K.-A new recording of The Beatles, circa 1961, has been unearthed in the home of semi-retired cabby, Barnabas Q. Plumfrock.

The recording, long rumored to be fatuous, was found in the hope chest set at the end of Mr. Plumfrock's bed.

It seems that the recording has been missing for 50 years! It is a tape of the fab four having a conversation in the back seat of Mr. Plumfrock's cab.

It was recovered by a group of fanatically loyal Beatlemaniacs who had learned of it's possible presence in Mr. Plumfrock's home, in 45b Carnaby Road, from a disgruntled prostitute who had visited his home.

These Beatlemaniacs, basing their entire actions on the flimsy story of an often equivocating Liverpudlian whore, stormed 45 Carnaby Road and demanded entrance, finally having to enlist the aid of the local troop of Beatle Police-an offshoot and the brutal secret police of the Beatlemaniacs, England's main Beatles fan club.

A siege ensued, but was swiftly dissolved, when flaming Bobblehead toys of members of the Rolling Stones, the Beatles' chief rival, were hurled en masse into the formerly peaceful home of Mr. Plumfrock.

After a few minutes of these relentless fiery barrages, Mr. Plumfrock relented, and allowed the Beatlemaniacs admission to his home.

The long lost recording was swiftly located and given to the marauding Beatlemaniacs, who, in finding it and listening to it, longed for it's suppression.

All this reporter was able to ascertain was that it contained a number of debates about whether or not the Beatles, then quite literally hungry, should eat a wad of chewed-up bubblegum they found stuck to the floor of Mr. Plumfrock's cab.

Naturally, many are up in arms over this controversial recording-clearly not The Beatles' best! A new wing of the famed Beatle Hall, on 1024 Harhowe-Reading Lane, in Liverpool, is considered to be added in light of this new release by the Fab Four...it will be dedicated to the insane love The Beatles' had of bubblegum in their hungrier days...especially, various brands of already masticated gum.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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