Written by LauraLS
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Topics: Wales

Saturday, 5 February 2011

The UK were shocked this evening to discover Wales missing. Apparently two Tory MPs had been picnicking and drank rather too much ginger beer when they thought they would "Give the Welshies a taste of independence" and taking a saw they severed the country from the rest of the UK overnight. At first no one noticed the country's absence, it was only while watching the evening weather that it was discovered to be missing from the map.

Apparently Wales had floated West, bouncing lightly off Ireland before travelling the Atlantic Ocean heading for North America. However, America announced "We don't want it." And waited with large poles to poke to country back Eastwards. From there Wales headed towards Africa where the country was boarded by Somali pirates, the pirates decided Wales wouldn't raise much in ransom and promptly left it alone.

So how does Wales feel about its independence? Anghard Jones, a Welsh person, said something to us in Welsh that involved a lot of consonants strung together and no one understood what she meant. However Dafydd ap Dafydd ap Dafydd ap Bob says "My family is Welsh going back generations and generations, always we have had a dream, Welsh independence and now that dream is a reality, sod the UK! The weather's not been bad either." Indeed, Wales' travels has caused a huge change in the climate with a beam of sunlight breaking through the clouds and temperatures reaching a staggering 10 degrees. There are fears these near tropical temperatures could play havoc with the ecosystem, with animals and plants becoming more dangerous as the heat rises. There are already rumours that sheep have developed a venomous bite.

But what next for Wales? David Cameron said his minions were very wrong to cut away Wales, but on the other hand he doesn't really care. Wales themselves seem to be enjoying themselves, so more on this story as it develops.

Ireland is accusing Wales of hit and run as part of it was damaged in the collision with the country.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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