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Monday, 31 January 2011

image for Unknown woman to host UK Lottery
New unknown woman to push fake lottery button

The BBC, in which every UK household has a £150 share in order to ensure the director general Mark "bound to soon be a sir or maybe even a lord" Thompson has a huge salary and gives the public wonderful repeats, has decided that, with the impending retirement of the National Lottery Lucky Number ticket draw, it is now time to give some fresh lack of talent a chance to host the ticket draw show.

From next month, a new unknown woman will be replacing the current unknown Scottish woman to present the lottery and push the big fake button prior to the draw-master in his white gloves pushing the real button on the machine.

The unknown Scottish woman who took over from the previous unknown woman, will now be going on to further her career as a professional guest wearing a low cut top in either some moronic talent show with unqualified judges, or a quite unnecessary reality show hosted by two short men from Newcastle.

Speaking at a press conference, one of the unknown women said she was thrilled that another unknown woman was taking over this vital task.

"It is important for unknown women to gain valuable experience prior to commencing their careers on to the minority television channels irritating viewers with vacuous comments about the main event an hour earlier on the main channel".

Holly Willoughby works for the BBT (Beautiful But Thick) and ITN (Irritation The Norm).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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