Written by IN SEINE
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Wednesday, 26 January 2011

image for Marazion Could Become Gay Capital of Cornwall
The pink pirate gets ready for reopening

Following the recent court case involving the Christian couple who have been found guilty of discrimination against the gay community, the B&B has been inundated with requests from gay partners in civil partnerships, demanding that they have a room.

The proprietors who are quite elderly have decided to appeal against the court's decision and still maintain that they have the right to uphold God's law.

The B&Bs owners told In Seine News today: "Ever since this became news, the guesthouse has had many queries particularly from gay people who assert that it is their right to have a room. However, we have refused point blank to give in to their demands even if it means that we have to go to prison. In fact we have decided that enough is enough and that we should retire from the business after 25 years and sell up. It is ironic that we could have easily taken a full years worth of bookings in a matter of weeks - but God's laws are far more important than money! As far as worldy temptation goes, it seems that we may have struck oil!"

In a bizarre turn of events, the couple have received a phone call from someone calling himself Mr Reg D. White and his partner, Mr David Furniture, have expressed interest in buying the property to bring up their son and the business as a going concern so that their friends can stopover. They are prepared to pay several million pounds for it. The elderly proprietor was dancing around the room, shouting: "The Lord does work in mysterious ways!"

Furthermore, many of B&Bs and other establishments have been snapped up by prominent members of the gay community. Many of the homes are being painted pink and in fact B & Q in Penzance have sold out of pink paint. The front gardens of the houses are changing too they are positively blooming with pretty flowers.

Even the Public House in Marazion has not escaped a name change: what was once called 'The Jolly Roger' will now be known as 'The Pink Pirate'. It is already being festooned with pink bunting to celebrate its Grand Reopening ceremony. Regular competitions will be held there such as "The Only Straight in the Village" competition.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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