Brown asked police about hacking

Reports have been received that Gordon Brown has approached the police in regard to hacking.

We have ascertained that the police are considering charging Mr. Brown for wasting police time. Chief Inspector Phil McBottom has told us, "We get fed up with totally unimportant 999 calls being made, akin to having one's snowman stolen, when it makes far more sense to contact NHS Direct."

A local Pharmacist concurs. "Had Mr Brown approached us we would simply say that chesty coughs are part and parcel of winter chills and we could have given him a bottle of Covonia and a packet of Tunes."