Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 23 January 2011

image for A Carpet Burns Night disaster for sordid Labour smears on Tory Lords Leader
Lurid: a washed-out brain-dead alkie called Birgit Cunningham's kiss'n'tell may end in tears

London - (Smoke 'N' Mirrors): A Sunday Smearer gutter trawl defaming the Conservative Leader of the House of Lords looks set to end in tragedy.

"I'll give it until Burns Night, Tuesday," a leading defamation lawyer chuckled today as the sordid tale spread to UK broadsheets.

Happily married Scottish nobleman Lord Strathclyde has long been the target of snide attacks by baying Labour wolves.

This weekend a post-Coulson red top wiretap sting op sees him accused of a grubby affair with a washed-out brain-dead alkie called Birgit Cunningham.

Her heartfelt Sunday Smearer nookie 'confession' claims carnal knowledge 'and other stuff'.

Of course, there's no mention of the reported fifty grand paycheck winging its way from the paper to her depleted bank account, nor all the other men she's previously libelled.

At his Ayrshire ancestral home this weekend My Noble Lord remains nonplussed like an old campaigning warhorse used to bluebottles and other inconveniences of public life.

The Gaelic term for a whorsefly just happens to be a cleg.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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