Written by SpoofyDoofy
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 4 January 2011

image for 'Biblical Floods' in Australia, but Great Britain is 'drowning' in 'Biblical Rubbish'!
So many wheelie bins, but not enough rubbish collections!!

Rubbish Tip Island, off the North Coast of the EU$$R: England may have retained the Ashes in Cricket in Australia where there have been 'Biblical floods', but Great Britain is 'drowning' in 'Biblical Rubbish!

All over the British Isles in gardens, driveways and streets are full of overflowing bin bags, paper, bottles and plastic. Brtitain is drowning in waste on 'Biblical proportions', that some councils have suggested to residents that they take their own rubbish to the tip.

Experts fear the situation will be even worse next year as local authorities, which in half of the country have already reduced bin rounds to once a fortnight, are forced by budget cuts to limit services further. As one Council Tax resident has stated;

    "One has to sympathise with our cash-strapped local authorities. If it's a toss-up between paying the bin-men O/T, or laying off the Sexual Diversity, Vibrant Ethnical, Multi Progressive Outreach Officers, it's clear where the priorities must lie!!"

In Exeter the situation has got so bad with millions of families who have to deal with piles of stinking rubbish on their doorsteps, Council Leader has 'unwisely' made a statement. With missed collections in recent weeks, blamed on snow and bank holidays, that have resulted in piles and mountains of rubbish gathering outside people's homes on 'Biblical scale', council leader, Pete Edwards, has claimed that the rubbish backlog is 'not a major problem'.

Pete Edwards in his own words;

    "I don't see it as a major problem but it is a problem the council is dealing with." Adding that the binmen would clear up the backlog this week.

Rubbish backlog: mountains of rubbish 'not a major problem', Exeter council says

A council leader has claimed that the rubbish backlog is 'not a major problem' despite streets in his city being knee-deep in black bags full of leftover Christmas food and other detritus.

In a slap in the face to the leader of Exeter City Council said he saw no need for binmen to go to work during the Christmas holidays to deal with the extra refuse.


Pete Edwards in his own words "I don't see it as a major problem but it is a problem the council is dealing with." He added that the binmen would clear up the backlog this week.

This statement has been made despite some alleyways in the city being knee-deep in black bags full of leftover Christmas food and rubbish, with the impact from the smell of rotting refuse or the presence of vermin:

As another Council Tax Paying Resident said;

    "Rotting uncollected waste, Heathrow turned into a refugee camp and a train network that bleeds passengers dry yet fails to provide a satisfactory service...the UK has become a third world country."


Another suffering British resident makes this observation;

    "I remember observing two decades ago that when they stop filling in the potholes in the main street of an African capital city the economic breakdown of the nation is no longer being concealed."

    "A nation which cannot even organise rubbish collection - yet has raised it to an art form / science with multi bins / bin laws / bin police - is disintegrating in quite another way."

There is the air of revolution in the air, as one idea has been put forward by one 'militant' Tax paying British revolutionary;

    "Hire a pickup. Load it with your rubbish. Load it with all your neighbours rubbish. Dump the lot on the steps of the Civic Centre. Find the home addresses of the Chairman of the Council, the Chairman of the Committee which is in charge of cleansing, and a few of the main salaried officers and other culprits. Go back for another load for each of them. Keep doing this until something happens. Spread the idea, so you don't get vicitimised as the only person who is doing this. Besdies, if lots of people are doing it, it will have a far greater impact. Spread the word. Say it is all part of Cameron's "Big Society". We're supposed to run our own public services. Well, you're runing your own rubbish collection service. Write a press release. Get photographers and local TV present. The possibilities for this sort of non-violent direct action are considerable."

The rubbish wasteproblem has been particularly acute in Birmingham, where the Trade Unions further disrupted collections by holding a one-day strike of binmen just before Christmas, and starting a work-to-rule regime that means Bank Holiday shifts and sickness absence are not covered.

So the revolution has started with frustrated residents creating a mountain of uncollected rubbish at the Northfield Shopping Centre's recycling containers, while a similar pile of empties has built up around bottle banks in Ashbourne, Derbyshire.

One Birmingham Council Tax paying resident said the bins had not been collected since December 14th, and "rubbish is piled high on every street corner".

Kevin Mitchell, Birmingham City Council's Assistant Director of Fleet and Waste Management, said;

    "It is a triple whammy. "This all happened during Christmas, with three Bank Holidays and 420,000 extra turkey carcasses to collect."


An anonymous Bin man has offered this to all suffering Council Tax payers;

    "Having worked in environmental services for the past six years, the past three been a dustcart driver, Ii am very suprised by negative comments about collections. And for those moaning about paying Council Tax and not getting a collection I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Only around £1.50 a month goes to the collection of refuse and recycling waste, the rest go's to the emergancy services and the latest cutbacks isn't helping any local authority."


So there you have it folks from the horses mouth, only £1.50 per month of your Council Tax, which equates to £18 per year. goes to waste collection. Where are the other 100's of £ Sterling spent?

As another suffering British Taxpayer has said about the £16.5 Billion Britain pays the EU$$R a year;

    "At least the EU is getting paid."

Make SpoofyDoofy's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 2?

4 14 12 7

Go to top