Written by Charpa93
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Monday, 27 December 2010

image for Piers Morgan Offers His Name to Susan Boyle's Unborn Child
Is this the Boyle residence?

Rumors of Susan Boyle being pregnant have men coming out of the woodwork denying they are the father but offering their surname to the unborn child if need be. The most prominently known to recently make the offer is none other than Piers Morgan, judge on Britain's Got Talent when Boyle won the top prize. Morgan says he feels he owes it to Boyle seeing as the way he shamelessly flirted with her throughout the show and thereby making her feel as if she were quite desirable.

While no one man will admit to sleeping with Boyle, dozens of men believe that Susan Boyle is a courageous woman and the offer of help comes from the heart. The sex of the child is as yet unknown, but the fact that sex was involved is pretty much a foregone conclusion.

"I ain't no Mary. We can all agree on that," said Boyle while officially announcing the impending birth. "But I am also not a 'kiss-and-tell' lass," she added. "What happens in Manchester, stays in Manchester," she said with a sly grin.

Boyle, of course, is referring to the visit she made to Manchester only a few months ago. While she remains mum about the circumstances surrounding that visit, she did give one cryptic message to the press, saying "I dunno nothin' about no tipped gazebo."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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