Written by Charpa93
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Tuesday, 21 December 2010

image for Miami Beach Closed Due to Overcrowding by British Tourists
View from $4000/day condo in Miami

The cold snap that continues to plague Britain is responsible for the City of Miami Beach closing its doors to any more travelers seeking a warm spot in which to spend the holidays.

Planes were diverted to as far north as Charlotte, South Carolina (which was itself covered in a layer of ice) as most of the major cities in Florida were closing their doors as well to the sun-seeking tourists who'd had enough of the brutal wintry conditions felt back home in Europe.

The scenes at airports from Miami to Jacksonville were chaotic as travelers were told over and over again that there simply was "no room at the inn." The only other alternative warm place in America, Texas, had the welcome mat rolled out but there were few takers. "Texas? You must be joking," said one traveler from Birmingham, England. "I hear their beaches are disgusting and besides, where would we stay? At a dude ranch? I hear the rattlers are the size of humans there. No thank you."

Sentiments like this could be heard in airports throughout Florida. In fact, most tourists, upon hearing their options, chose to pack up and return to a frigid England, a bit disheartened but happy with the decision.

As there seemed to be no end in sight for the unseasonably cold weather that seems to be taking direct aim at western Europe, Miami and its surrounding beaches have indicated they are not sure when the city will be open again for tourists.

Meanwhile, Cuban residents in the area are offering their own homes and condos for rent at prices in the hundreds of thousands of dollars for those who can slip past airport security. "It is a high price to pay," claimed one lucky Brit known only as Earl, who found a condo 13 blocks from the beach in a seedy area of Little Havana renting for $4,000 per night, "but it beats the hell out of going back home or vacationing in Texas."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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