Written by Lady Godiva
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Sunday, 19 December 2010

image for Newby - Isle of Wight-  hit by biggest snowfall in history of the village.
Army helicopters are flying to Newby, Isle of Wight, to rescue Seniors trapped by recent 2 cm snowfall

The residents of Newby, Isle of Wight, are busy digging themselves out of the largest snowfall that has hit the village in over 12 months.

Residents were shocked to wake up this morning to be met with a whopping 2 cm. of snow which had fallen during the night.

Many residents couldn't make it to work as they were not prepared and had only open-toed shoes and sandals to wear. No-one had been in their lofts to pull out the boxes of socks, mittens and scarves.
They were caught totally off guard.

"It's terrible is this," began Mrs. Emily Snodgrass of Walkerton Thisway Street, "I just couldn't believe my eyes. I can't possibly go out in that. I can't even find me Lady Diana headscarf to put on never mind me long knickers. I'm not risking traipsing through all that snow just t'get t'the Women's Institute meeting. Anyways, there'll be nobody there. This village has come to a bleedin' standstill. Good job I stocked up on beans and toilet rolls last week"

Children in the village were obviously pleased. Schools were closed! They were, however, a bit upset that there wasn't enough decent snow to make snowballs to throw or roll.

Little Billy Murray commented on the snowfall,

"It's ok tha' we don' 'ave t'go t'school like, but there's not even enough snow t'ave fun with. Me mam asked me to clear our path an' all I 'ad t'do was shuffle along wi' me feet and the path was clear. I don' know what all the fuss is about meself."

The Mayor of Newby said he is calling in the Army to help out in this emergency. He is hoping they will drop supplies on Newby and perhaps, air-lift some of the older residents to the Mainland in order to get them to safety until the weather improves.

More as we get it (news I mean - not snow!)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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