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Thursday, 16 December 2010

image for Queen Released from Care of Local Authority
Whoops! Semi-Naked Man shocked and appalled Queen mistaken for dementia sufferer

HM the Queen is back home at Buckingham Palace tonight, wondering not for the first time how it all went so wrong.

In this latest instance, HM was forced into protective care after telling people 'I don't think he looks like my father at all.'

Upon hearing the remark at a Leicester Square cinema, social workers, still unaware Labour was no longer the government, leapt forward and bundled the Queen off to a foster home in SW5.

"In fairness," said Emily Dewright, Directress of Good Intentions within the Ministry of Interventions, Protection, and Interference, "you must look at it from our risk perspective. Here we have a senior citizen, without a coat, walking up to strangers and saying a man was not her father. You can see how one might reach the conclusion she was a wandering Dementia patient and in this instance, we did."

Unfortunately, the social workers failed to factor into their thinking that the Queen was referring to the actor Colin Firth, currently seen in British cinemas portraying George VI, the Queen's father, and Her Majesty was at the time of the intervention greeting the cast of the film.

"Come to think of it, Colin Firth doesn't look at all like George VI," conceded Dewright. "He's got the uniform on, certainly, and there's lots of gold braid and such, but from the neck up you've got to admit there's no question that's definitely Colin Firth and not the late King. In retrospect, I've no idea what we were thinking, but let it not be said the Department is unprepared to act."

Her Majesty, as ever, had no comment, but the look on her face suggested she would have some ideas to share with the Prime Minister on the matter of future spending cuts.

"Obviously we sorted it out and contacted relations to collect her and take her home. And I will offer that while we tried to get the Queen to talk about her feelings, she was quite resistant. And I must say, her husband is a rather peppery old gentleman. If his remarks when he collected her are typical, he might benefit from one our sensitivity training initiatives."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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