Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

image for Downing Street 'Plan B' to poison the Queen, flog off her asses (sick)
What do you mean, George, that someone's given the nod to have me rubbed out by tomorrow morning?

London - (Hemlock News): Downing Street aides have denied an emergency 'Plan B' to poison the Queen.

Cabinet Secretary Sir Gus O'Donnell was reported to have ordered a vile (sic) of arsenic to be mixed into HM's Whorelicks tonight.

"That way we could get our hands on her $$$s in time for the annual Xmas party," Whitehall sources explained.

The 11th hour remedy includes reports about the proposed seizure of the Queen' assets tomorrow morning for immediate sale on eBay.

Without such a drastic cash injection the annual Downing Street Xmas bash is a dead duck, officials hinted cautiously tonight.

Behind the radical rethink are MI5 reports that the recent state visit by the Qatari Emir and his wife Shaikha Mozzad saw HM trouser a tone of gold ingots into her private coffers.

"Bah, humbug!" O'Donnell told reporters this evening.

"Of course it's quite normal for Government officials to conjure up alternative scenarios when the gravy train grinds down to a halt.

"This latest plan is nothing out of the ordinary, the Labour Party tried it several times themselves."

Online bookies Aintgottaprayer.con go even money for a Wednesday morning RIP announcement from Buckingham Palace.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 plus 3?

4 7 17 16

Go to top ^