Written by j.w.
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Topics: Nick Clegg

Sunday, 12 December 2010

image for Clegg Slips Down the Greasy Pole
Clegg Sleeps after his Ordeal

Liberal Democrat headquarters, guarded by 500 police with horses, dogs, water canon, tear gas and guns, hailed a great day for Liberal Politics. Some people still backed Nick Clegg!

However, Clegg has slipped down the greasy pole and his arse hit the ground with a resounding thump. Doctors, called away from a man with head injuries after hitting himself with a police truncheon, tended Clegg's tender torso. 'My God' said the Doctor 'you must have fallen from a great height.'

'Yes. I was pushed over the edge by my own friends who are jealous of me. It is all a plot to seize the leadership and consign me to the streets of Sheffield. They know what would happen to me there. They are cruel cowards.'

The Mayor of Sheffield was outraged at these statements. 'I am sure Clegg will change his mind when he sees the benefits of being nice to the people of Sheffield. He is currently favourite to take over as Vice Chancellor of Sheffield University and the students there, with the assistance of local school children as young as five, have been preparing a present for him when he returns to this great city.'

As signs of life were seen in a stirring Labour Party, keen to show students they are with them some of the way, the outlook for another political transformation looks more possible. Several LibDems have invested large sums prediciting the fall of the Coalition next year so they will have some money to buy body armour when they return to normal life.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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