Written by Inhopeless
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Saturday, 11 December 2010

LONDON - After a stupidly narrow defeat of 21 votes, a tuition fee rise for next year's university students was met with severe irony as a clause was found in the document.

All the party members who voted for the fee rise will have to pay their university fees back.

Although many of those who voted went to university free of charge, a new loophole in the tuition fees bill states: "All the fucking tossers who voted for this proposal will have to pay £10,000 for every year they spent at their wankers' institute, regardless of cost at the time."

Students were camping outside of the Parliament building when the news was broadcast out to them.

"I'm so fucking stoked," said Mark Hall, who will now have to pay £21,000 for his three-year degree (+ interest) and has to support his ailing mother. "This may not help us, but it's the closest we'll get to revenge on the puerile douchebags. BURN THE TORIES AND THE LIB-DEMS... EXCEPT THE ONES WHO VOTED AGAINST IT!"

The total money that will have to be paid back will be over £1 million, prompting another U-Turn by the coalition.

"We have decided," said Cameron, speaking to the crowds, "to reverse the proposals. You will all pay less. I'm sorry. Nick is sorry. We all are sorr...ARRGHHH!" he wailed as a shoe was thrown at his face. By this reporter.

Take that scumbag! That was the one with the petrol bomb.

Pieces of flesh then rained down on the triumphant and jubilant crowd.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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