A freeze has been put on sensational Wikileaks revelations as the Government introduced a -20 degree temperature. Burst pipes may result but David Cameron announced that 'the damage to Britain would have been far worse if we hadn't taken this action now.'
It is thought the freeze will last until Christmas when it is thought the British public will be so lost in festivities they will not notice the unkind things American diplomats have said about us.
America is in a storm about the leaks. Blood is everywhere as diplomats are executed in the street. Fox Murdoch News is broadcasting five minute warnings that the future of the world is threatened by leaks. 'Our whole way of life based on openness and freedom is at stake' declared a senator who did not want to be named.
A statement from the leader of organised crime in Russia stated: 'We are appalled at the allegation that we of the honourable criminal fraternity in Russia have associated ourselves with the unpleasant Russian Government. There is no truth in such claims. We are people of great pride and all such suggestions are beneath contempt.'
World leaders rocked by rude remarks made by diplomats complained of 'undiplomatic remarks' which 'endangered the peace of the world.' 'These shits should keep their fucking mouth shut!' exclaimed Sarky Cosy.
All talks between diplomats have been halted worldwide in a desperate attempt to stop any further disasters. However political circles are certain such measures come too late. The horse has bolted.
Resistance to the perpetrators of this 'crime against humanity' declared Republican Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin 'should be bombed out of existence.'