Written by Nick Hobbs
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Police, drinking, Youth

Thursday, 25 November 2010

image for Horror: London Man Brutally Left Hanging In Street
Boy of 23 brutally left hanging in busy city street.

Police are conducting a city wide search for a group of youths who callously left a pal hanging in a busy street, last Thursday evening, while out on the town drinking.

Reports suggest the group were out celebrating a work related job promotion, for one of the group, when the incident occurred.

Witness Mary Celeste, 18, told us "I saw the gang, ya know, kinda walkin' past, laughin', jokin' an' that! Fought one of 'em was well fit, but the ovver lot were proper mingin'! They was tellin' jokes an' that, y'know?"

"I just saw 'em movin' from one bar to the next, they was drinkin' an' that, but who don't? I know I was proper wrecked, even well before Deano nailed me behind the bins!"

Police officer Denny Purbitter told us "we have been viewing CCTV footage of the area, and the lads do seem to have been heavily under the influence."

"It appears the young man told the rest of the group a joke, as they headed towards The Walkabout bar at approximately 11:30pm," Purbitter continued, "upon completion of the jape, said victim can clearly be seen raising his hand in a gesture of 'high-5', to which the others merely look away and walk on, in to the bar, leaving the poor lad hanging."

"We are searching for around 8 males, all in their early 20's, and anyone with information should contact their local armed response unit. We are also searching for the victim, we are extremely concerned for his welfare. We can offer counselling and a full support network to work with him through this trauma."

"In all my days on the beat, I have never seen such a blatant act of disregard and indignation on our city streets," said Purbitter, "it just makes me sick what is happening in our society!"

Make Nick Hobbs's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 4 multiplied by 2?

4 13 8 19

Go to top