Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Wednesday, 17 November 2010

image for Toy store bans toy pigs for fear of upsetting extremists

An early-years toy shop chain has banned toy pigs from its autumn farm yard collection. This follows fears amongst company executives that extremists would be offended by the toys.

David Late-Starter, CEO of the chain, said "We have had some problems in our stores in Southall, Watford and Slough. These have ranged from people coming in and politely asking that the offending toys be removed. Others have shouted and screamed at our staff, going on about fatwas and that sort of stuff. But in Slough, one disgruntled customer came into the store and hosed the place down with an AK47, before detonating an explosive vest, which took out our shop, the sex shop next door and the ward office of the local BNP councillor".

In a bid to calm local sensitivities, the chain has introduced a range of suicide bomber action figures, which explode spontaneously when removed from their boxes. Another action figure starts making gurgling sounds when repeatedly held under water for brief periods of time. These figures come in bright orange boiler suits.

A company spokesman said "It was disappointing not to get the suicide bomber action figures on the shelves in time for bonfire night. They would have gone down well at any display".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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