Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Monday, 15 November 2010

image for Remembrance Sunday - History Student's Discovery
Student discovers facts about European history.

A history student at one our top universities has made a vital discovery about the Festival of Remembrance.

Daryl Cocktailglass studies at the University of Thames Valley East, and is in the third year of his history degree.

He said: "I saw all this stuff going on on Thursday last week and then on Saturday and Sunday and I wondered what it was all about.

"Well, as a history student I thought I could find out what was what, so I started doing some research. I couldn't believe what I found!

"There's a whole load of books in the library here - I mean hundreds, maybe thousands. Some of them are about something called the Second World War.

"There was this guy called Hitler who started grabbing Europe for himself. We decided to stop him and got the Yanks and Russians to help. It took a while, but we did it - although an awful lot of people got killed doing it.

"But - wait - that's not all. Twenty-odd years before Hitler, someone else had tried it before! That's right - there was a First World War! Suppose it makes sense if there was Second one really.

"Anyway, people decided to mark the end of the First World War with these ceremonies and what-have-you - and they still do. They say it's to respect all the people who were killed in both wars and any fighting that's happened since (I need to find out about that too.)

"I asked my mum if she knew about this and she said something about a wasted education and didn't I remember the stories that Grandad used to tell me about North Africa - and the penny dropped.

"Bloody hell - this was serious stuff. My grandad was in the Second World War! Isn't history great?"

Head of modern history at the University, Prof Ken Lucid, said: "Ah yes, young Cocktailglass... strictly entre nous his graduation is not a certainty by any stretch of the imagination. Mind you, I'm glad he seems to have discovered the library and at least learned something."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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