Written by Whitters
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Sunday, 7 November 2010

image for 'er Maj fined for fare evasion.

Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II may have used a public service train to get to Portsmouth this weekend to see her little metal lover Lord Ark Royal of The Solent; but she was in for a shock when returning after a royal faux pas by one of the royal "aide's".

While travelling on the service operated by British Rail, she was asked to show her ticket by one of the on board ticket collectors and realised to her horror that her personal companion had only purchased a single ticket for her.

Unable to pay for her ticket due to the recession biting hard, she was cautioned by the clippie and given a Penalty Fine of £20 for failing to produce a valid ticket. She has also been advised that if she fails to pay this, then British Rail could summons her to court for a royal spanking and up to 6 months at Her Own Pleasure.

Royal Aide, Dozy Dumbass, has admitted reponsibility and has offered to pay British Rail out of his own pocket, which they have refused as they have not received the money and signed apology from "Mrs Elizabeth Windsor" of "Buck Pal. London".

Due to the coverage of the event, press were waiting for the royal party outside the ticket barriers at London's Waterloo Station, however our exclusive reporter got there first by using his BR Season Ticket to get through the barriers and got this exclusive comment from Mr Dumbass:

"I really screwed up. I am paid minimum wage to make sure Her Majesty is never harassed by incidents like this. I wanted to make it up to her, but I made up this story instead to make her look good and me look bad."

Since leaving the platform, Mr Dumbass has received a number of threats from the residents of Haslemere, Surrey. One read: "Our ticket prices go up every year because of theiving fare evading scum like you and her."

There was no comment from any spokespeople at British Rail, who were all laid off at Privatisation in 1986.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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