Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 3 November 2010

image for Britain and France to merge?
The start de toute beauté relationship

An historic merger between the French and the British has stumbled over what to call the alliance.

David Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy met in front of the world's media to announce this historic venture, the most audacious of its kind ever seen in the political arena.

Many thought that the major stumbling block would be language, with Sarkozy insisting on speaking only French, despite having a degree in English from the Parisian Institute of higher learning and Cameron spoke English only, despite being a fluent French speaker with a holiday home near Marseilles. However, English already uses a number of French words, and much to their distaste, French has incorporated some English, so language issues did not arise. Some thought that culture would cause friction, with the two nations historically poles apart when it comes to art, food and religious beliefs. However, the French have accepted that the English will always be uncultured swine, and the two looked convivial.

The arguments started when Cameron called the new alliance Britance. Sarkozy took offence to this nomenclature, and insisted that the alliance was to be called Frantain.

The press conference had to be put on hold as the two leaders disappeared into the board room again in an attempt to solve the naming of the alliance behind closed doors. Insiders reported that Britance won out after a heated debate that took in rational argument, best of three arm wrestling and finally a quick round of Rock Paper Scissors.

"Having David Cameron as Prime Minister turned out to be a good idea," said Ian Cider, one of the insiders. "He won two of three arm wrestling matches and wiped the floor with Sarkozy in Rock Paper Scissors."

Apparently, Cameron had been prepared for the debate to go to Rock Paper Scissors and had taken lessons from Derren Brown.

The only concession Cameron had to make, was to allow French Farmers to blockage the English end of the Channel Tunnel when they wanted to strike.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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