Written by matthatt
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Thursday, 14 October 2010

image for Cold weather payments to be slashed...
Give this to the old folks to burn, HA HA HA

...up the wall by MPs who are pissed off with not being able to pass their piss up payments on to the tax payer.

Emergency cold weather payments to the elderly could be cut from £25 to £8.50 under plans to replace members of parliaments partying pounds following the tighter control on expenses.

"We have to get the money from somewhere" said one unnamed member, allegedly

"Since we have been stopped from passing all manner of outrageous expense claims on to the taxpayer we had to look for another revenue stream, then someone came up with the idea of the old folks winter money, they wont be around much longer anyway and we need it much more than they do, so we can carry on living in the manner to which we have been accustomed."

Senior Whitehall sources have confirmed that it is not "affordable" to keep the £25 level of payment that was introduced last year by Gordon Brown and ensure that MPs have enough to pay for keeping mistresses and cleaning moats. "After all" said another MP "we can't be expected to pay for it out of our own pockets"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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