Written by Sidney Bollocks
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Tuesday, 12 October 2010

image for MacShite Crappy Meal shows no signs of decomposing after 6 years
Still just as mouth-watering after all this time

A woman who bought a MacShite Crappy Meal 6 years ago, and absentmindedly forgot to eat it after taking it home, has recently discovered it in a cupboard in her kitchen.

Mrs Doreen Dipshit, a shamefully hard working, happily married mother of two, who hasn't claimed a welfare benefit in her life and who doesn't possess a flatscreen TV, said "It is amazing. It looks just as juicy and appetising as when I bought it all those years ago. I found it last week and decided to leave it out on the kitchen bench for a while. It was a little strange, however, when the dogs growled at me when I approached them with the burger. I was also surprised when I came into the kitchen the other morning and found a circle of dead cockroaches around the burger, which had been untouched".

Unfortunately, Mrs Dipshit no longer has the famous burger, as it was eaten by a drug addicted teenager who burgled her house. Police are trying to identify an 18 year old male, who was found dead in a pool of his own vomit in Mrs Dipshit's front garden.

Meanwhile, MacShite have been contracted by the UN World Food Programme to cater for third world countries at times of natural disasters. Crappy Meals will be given regional variations to suit local tastes. At the time of writing, 5 million Crappy Biryani Meals are en route to Pakistan.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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